From Whence The Darkness Comes.

A few random thoughts before I turn in.  As I shed my CCW and get ready to turn some pages in Wild at Heart before I drift off to something that resembles sleep (at least my eyes will be closed even though my mind doesn’t seem to find rest), I think about unhappy people.  Their miserable faces drawn long by hatred and anger.  Distrusting of everyone in the world and believing none as capable as themselves.  

What a miserable world to live in where you are the center of the universe and only you know what’s best for people.  What a let down it must be in the morning to know that the only measure of your manhood is how many people you control.  Never satisfied.  Only capable of consuming more and more.  The hole never abates.  Never draws close to satisfaction.  There’s always a need.  A drive to control more.  To be more.  More than you know you are inside.  Small.  Petty.  Craving attention from the very people you can’t abide.

I feel sorry for them. 

I look at my wife, already drifting into Sandman’s realm, her beautiful red hair cascading from the pillow.  I know my world revolves around her and God.  I know the measure of my manhood lies not in my conquests, but my quests.  I’m content with knowing that the universe may not even know I exist, but my friends and loved ones do. 

What a terrible thing to not have that anchor.   What misery lies in the depths of greatness?  What despair in the prism of fame? 

What saddens me is that through neglect and tepidity we hand our countries over to these petty men.  We indulge there unhappiness and feed their discontent until one day, we fall for the same lie.  Waking unhappy, and demanding more from… whom?  From everyone!  For we are the center or our unhappiness.  A blank dismal singularity that nothing, not even light, escapes.   

Maybe this is how nations rise to fall?  Maybe when enough unhappy people turn inward and begin to collapse on themselves, they take all in their orbit with them?  Crushing out light.  Snuffing out hope.   Then Hope and Change become great slogans for a people so drunk on themselves they, long ago, forgot what hope really is. 

When the long faced men lie to me and tell me to Hope and Change, I know what the words should mean.  I feel the gravity of their true meaning.   Hope is the burning knowledge that there is more to come when the dawn struggles from night’s cocoon and the greens and reds break free of the monotones of darkness.  It’s not an empty promise from the grim faced man with the force fed smile.  It’s the endless possibility that today is.  Simply is, and we are meant to enjoy it.  Not steal it.  Not possess it.  Just live it. 

I know that Change is inevitable.  I know the flowers draw back as the days grow short.  I know that Change isn’t always good.  I know that it hurts sometimes.  But when you only see your own dark heart…  When your only judge is the miniscule man in the mirror demanding more to feed abyss of unrest in your soul, then change… any change is a Godsend. No matter if that change will hurt everyone.

I have no real end to these pre-somnial synaptic meanderings except to say, it’s very easy to be unhappy.  Unhappy is popular in our culture. And all you have to do to accomplish it is to limit your horizons and look inward.  It takes guts to be happy because you have to look out to the world and risk sadness.  But sadness isn’t the same as unhappiness.  Sadness is transitory.  And sadness isn’t punishment for the attempt at joy.  It’s just adventures to make you appreciate the view when you reach your goal.

So even though the world be dark and its demons lurk in the shadows, remember they, like cockroaches, are affraid of the light.  The brighter you make yours, the more damage you do to their stronghold.  Of course, it makes you a target, but hey… who wants an easy life?


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Conservative, educated, understands history, distrusts government, distrusts politicians, dislikes pop-culture, and carries a firearm. In short, I'm what The Framers of The Constitution were counting on and everything your government wants you to fear most.

The only thing I don’t have to complain about is some GI taking up space in my living room. I’ll let you know about the Civil Courts if someone ever owes more than $20 to me. ---If you didn’t get that one; sue your Civics or US History Teacher.

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Any Spelling, Grammatical, or Typographic errors are the result of my keyboard, public school Elementary education, or Secret Government Ninjas and not fault of the author and his flying through his posts at lunch time. If you see any errors, ping me and I will correct them. Ping me often enough, and I will make you my editor.
dantes firing range -A T-
Remove the spaces and convert the -AT- to... you know the drill. In VB Script that's: Value = replace (replace ("dantes firing range -A T-", " ",""), "-AT-", chr(64))

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