Truth In Advertising Fail

I’m so glad I’m not the only one annoyed by these commercials

Point 1: If 6 foot tall angry ex-BF who is strong enough to kick in an exterior door with ONE KICK comes to your house and an alarm goes off, he’s not going to stop and run.  If he’s scrambled enough in the brain pan to enter YOUR HOME forcibly, do you REALLY think he’s going to stop when he hears the “WOOOoooWOOOoooWOOOooo” of an alarm?  No.. He’s going to go even more loony toons and beat the snot out of you or drag you off to someplace where he CAN beat the snot out of you.   Especially if he’s mere feet form his goal when the door flies open. 

Not to many people crazy enough to engage in violent B&E for revenge are also sane enough to say, “Oh! An alarm.  The cops will be here in 5 minutes.  I need to leave.”  No.  It’s more likely the internal script will be 1) “THAT B***H, I’ll kill her!” or 2) S**T the cops are coming.  Need to take care of the witness!”

Point 2: Exterior sensors don’t, generally, trigger an immediate alarm.  They trigger the “beep beep beep” to remind you to DISARM the alarm.  Now you can set them to if you have control over your alarm.  But my guess is that since Brin… I mean Broadview sets up your alarm, they won’t let you set it to an immediate alarm which is usually reserved for interior sensors.  The logic being is if the interior sensor goes off when the system is set to Away; then all hell has broken loose and it time to call the popo. 

Point 3: Also, I’ve triggered my alarm by accident.  The call is quick to come in, but not that quick.  When your hulk of a deranged ex-BF is in your aura, that 30 to 40 seconds to get a call is an eternity.  It may, in fact, be YOUR eternity.

Point 4: Let’s then add the false security of, “I’ll send help right now.”  If you are lucky…  EXTREMELY LUCKY, you will get a squad card at your home in 2 minutes.  And that is if you have a cruiser near by. Now I want you to think about standing toe to toe with a man that scares the living stuff out of you enough to make you get an alarm in the first place.  Stand there, helpless, praying to god he doesn’t beat you senseless, stab you, clock you in the head and drag you to his car, or just go all, “If I can’t have her no one will,” and hold you hostage until the police arrive so he can have an audience to show his discontent to.

Point 5: Get an alarm, by all means.  They are great. But, like any other tool, they perform a specific function, or set of functions, and asking them to perform one they are NOT designed for is stupid.  They are designed to encourage casual burglars to side step a house because it’s too much trouble. They are designed to make a professional thief rush through a house and leave things that he would otherwise have more time to cart off. 

They are not designed to stop thefts where the criminal has prior knowledge of what he wants to steal, where it is, and what tools he needs to use.  They are most definitely NOT DESIGNED to stop personal crimes where the attacker is crazy enough to let his psychotic emotional state drive him to violence against a know victim. 

The ONLY solution to the attack simulation shown by Brin… Broadview, besides hoping for the direct intervention of God or relying on the graciousness of your attacker, is to have a gun ON YOU that you know how to use well enough to draw it, point it at the target, and put enough holes in him that he stops attacking you.  If he has to shuffle off his mortal coil in the process, no one will shed a tear.  Now granted, the difficulty goes up a notch or two because she’s on stairs and you really should try and keep distance between you and your attacker, but you don’t get to choose when the goblins come out of the wood work.

Shame on Brin… Broadview for this commercial. The ones that I’ve seen in the past have been common burglary type “scare offs”.  Very rosy in their outcome, but that IS a hope you have with an alarm; the bad guy who randomly picked your house will scoot.  If not, plan B is if random critter comes into my hidey hole I will ventilate him.  But this one… this is blatantly ridiculous. I would even say FALSE ADVERTISING AND POTENTIALLY NEGLIGENT.  Good luck with the law suits. 

On a related note, it may seem unfair that you, a stalked woman, need to carry a gun all the time.  And it is. It’s mercilessly unfair in the extreme.  In a perfect world, there would not be animals that have lost their core programming and gone rouge.  But this is not a perfect world and if you happen to cross obits with a whack job hell bent on making you see the error of your ways for leaving him; response #1 should be to find the nearest range with classes and start taking them.  Force yourself up to speed ASAP and then get a firearm.  If you live in a state that won’t put you in jail for carrying it, do what ever is necessary to carry it. Then keep practicing. 

Again, get an alarm.  Get a dog.  Get a restraining order.  All those things serve a purpose.  The alarm and dog will give you warning and the TRO will give you more justification in the eyes of the court if you have to send you ex-goblin to his eternal reward.

A brief outline rewrite of the commercial to fit a more realistic world view would be:
1) hopefully nice guy drops off woman.
2) Woman goes inside and sets the alarm.
3) ex-BF comes up to door and kicks it in.  Alarm warns that it needs to be disarmed, “beepbeepbeep.”
4) Woman yells, “STOP!” while drawing a .45 from concealment.
5) Ex-BF, instead of browning his thighty whighties, decides that this b***h doesn’t have the guts to pull the trigger and TRIES to advance.
6) Shots ring out until the slide locks back as she’s backing up the stairs. 
7) As the muffled sounds of the night and the still beeping alarm creep back into her damaged hearing.  She drops her spent mag. Reloads.  Then picks up the phone and dials 911.
8 ) The alarms finally goes off. “911, what is your emergency.”
9) Woman replies, “Yes, we’ll need an ambulance and police.  My ex-BF tried to break in and he’s downstairs bleeding.”
10) Scene changes to a sunny morning.  “Broadview security was proud to be a part of deterring this crime.  It’s true we didn’t do anything, but we’re happy the way it ended.”

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Dante…

Conservative, educated, understands history, distrusts government, distrusts politicians, dislikes pop-culture, and carries a firearm. In short, I'm what The Framers of The Constitution were counting on and everything your government wants you to fear most.

The only thing I don’t have to complain about is some GI taking up space in my living room. I’ll let you know about the Civil Courts if someone ever owes more than $20 to me. ---If you didn’t get that one; sue your Civics or US History Teacher.


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