Things Left 4 Dead Has Taught Me About The Coming Zombiepocalypse.

1)      I need to work on my “Chicken Winging”.  It’s a great target of opportunity for your own team to nail you with Friendly Fire.

2)      Before I enter a doorway that screams, “ZOMBIES! GET YOUR RED HOT ZOMBIES IN HERE!”  I need to take 2 seconds to make sure my primary and secondary weapons are topped off.  Nothing begs the Huggies to get fudged like firing 2 shots and then yelling, “RELOADING” while 30 zombies register you as the Blue Plate Special.

3)      I much prefer Romero Zombies to 28 Days Later Zombies. 

4)      I need to buy more Normal Capacity magazines for my weapons.  The target rich environs of the Undead-Americans call for frequent tactical mag changes.

5)      Setting zombies on fire 50 yards from you?  Good.  Setting zombies on fire 3 feet from you?  BAD!

6)      I promise to be the first through the door and the one to take the brunt of the damage fighting the really bad zombies if you promise to give me fire support when I’m trying to make it to the rescue vehicle.  If, however, you decided to leave me for dead, I will be very put out. 

7)      Never do a bad turn to your survival partners (see above).  You never know when a fudge ton of zombies may follow you into a safe room ignoring the guy you’ve recently burned with your shenanigans and he may just close the unbreakable door on you and your “new friends” w/o lending a helping hand.  *evil grin* File that one under, “Payback’s a B***h,” fellas!

8)      With Pipe-bombs, ammo, and automatic weapons laying all about, the Zombiepocalypse is actually a pretty nice place to be.  I mean… minus the zombies. But hey, we have our own zombies now and none of that fun stuff lying about.  So I don’t know that I mind the “change.”

9)      I need an iPod.  The Zombiepocalypse will not be the same without a soundtrack.

10)  Given that I spend so much free time playing this game, I supposed when the Zombiepocalypse comes I’ll spend all my free time pretending to code,  playing at  finishing my reports, and role-playing that I’m talking to clients on the phone?

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Conservative, educated, understands history, distrusts government, distrusts politicians, dislikes pop-culture, and carries a firearm. In short, I'm what The Framers of The Constitution were counting on and everything your government wants you to fear most.

The only thing I don’t have to complain about is some GI taking up space in my living room. I’ll let you know about the Civil Courts if someone ever owes more than $20 to me. ---If you didn’t get that one; sue your Civics or US History Teacher.

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