Archive for the 'Books' Category

P.J… Like A Usefull George Will. …Only Funny

…And without all that Chicago Cubs baggage.

For your giggle box’s pleasure.   Although our Ninja and Zombie policies may be a good time/energy sink for them as well.

Today’s Moral Quandary Brought To You By Breda And Lawdog

I ran across this and this on their sites.  Having recently attempted for the umpteenth time to read the first Harry Potter book and having glanced at the first Twilight book, I was stuck by the deep notion that if that crap can get readership, why the hell not try myself.  My book is now in Alpha form and I have a few volunteers to ridicule rip apart make fun of my dyslexia do the heavy lifting and first edits. 

Anyway… I dropped sections of my book into the Analyzer.

Here are the results.

For dialogue only, I rang up as Cory Doctorow.

For dialogue intermixed with action/descriptions, I seem to be running over Steven King.

For some um… how to put this… less than wholesome romance (But PG-13), I scored an H.P. Lovecraft.  Fitting given the scene.

For some demonic rantings, I made James Joyce roll over in his grave. 

For general romantic scenes (and I mean romantic interactions between two people, not Boom Chicka Wow Wow…) I came up so MPD that I can’t being to list the authors. 

But when I went out on a lark and had it analyze the book as a whole, I nearly deleted all my work and gave up my dream of having people enjoy my stories.  DAN FRACKIN’ BROWN!  The same name that came up in my general action sequences.

I’ve never read a Dan Brown novel, mainly because Mr. Brown seems to have a hard on for the Catholic Church so I tend to not give $$$ or time to people who dislike a fundamental part of me.  I don’t know if his stories are well written or not.  I know people find his work interesting, but they find Twilight and Harry Potter spend worthy too.  Would it be morally correct to seek to publish a book that could land me the moniker, “A Catholic Dan Brown?”  *Shiver*

My immortal soul is in danger.  Oh the woes of being a tortured artist. 🙂

HAHAHAHAHAH!

Frackin’ HI-larious.  But is anyone else waiting for some sexy librarian to say, “shhhh.”

Zen And The Art Of Hangover Maintenance

A short while back I was introduced to a TV show that I never knew existed.  When I have doubts about the quality and usefulness of keeping the idiot box in my home, I reflect upon this show and it makes all the harmfulness of YAZ/PlanB commercials and just plain foolishness of Oprah/View shows melt into the eternal Test Pattern. 

My friends, Three Sheets is the show that redeems TeeWee from the brink of total desolation.   And now, it’s in book form.  (Angelic chorus sings.  Lights from the heavens.  A smile on the faces of Saints!)  MMMMMM!  Drinking and reading.  My two most favoritest things in the whole of creation*. 

H/T to Instapundit

*Well… maybe #’s 2 and 3 now that I think about it.

I Now Have Some Street Cred!

Fo’ shizzle my readizzle!  Er… whatever that’s supposed to mean. 

It seems the Grande Dame of Geeksville, D&D, was causing some major troubles (which starts with “T”, and that rhymes with “P”, and that stands for “Paladin”) in a Wisconsin Prison.  So THE MAN(!) took the game away from the worthless criminal choir-boy who was the major Player Character protagonist.  That warden is so gonna get it (as an NPC, of course). 

So hardened thugs play role-playing games?  Does that mean I get to wear my baseball caps at a jaunty angle now?  Can I belt my britches somewhere south of my wedding tackle? 

Poor prisoners… Do the crime, do the time. Pay the price, you can’t roll the dice.

And since D&D is such a rules heavy system, try playing it without the books.  Yet another reason to love Savage Worlds;160 pages, no fluff, easy to memorize.  I guess I need to start parking some of that data in my neural-net since I’ll be on an anti-.gov watch list at some point.  You never know when the Political Kommisars will take me to the “Re-Education Camps.”

“You can have my dice when you pry them from my cold dead hands!”

What Caliber For…

Giant Sky Jellyfish?

Dante:  *looks at .30-’06 and sighs* “Yep, time for a new gun.”  *Goes to Gunbroker.com to look up what’s available in .45-120*

I Aten’t Dead*

…I just, kinda sorta, wish I was.  …a little bit. 

It’s been a long hard several days.  Work has me stressed and alerting people that, “I’m 2 seconds of your stupid away from being on the news.”

I’m due for a vacation in 69 hours, 45 minutes, and 17 seconds (one that has been canceled TWICE by work!).  A vacation that will begin with finishing up some stitching on the Halloween costumes (BSG BDU’s), proceed into episodes of Dollhouse and Sanctuary, and rounding out Friday by falling asleep to either Redliners or Greywalker (both of which I’m trapped in the middle of with no time to read!).  Saturday will be waking up with same, light chores about the casa, Margarita Brunch, Darts at the bar, then off to a party dressed in costume to see how much beer a Colonial Officer can consume before being put in the brig.  

After that, nothing but books, sleep, and fresh air has been planned. 

There may be survivors after all. 

*with apologies to Granny Weatherwax

One More Reason Not To See Inglorious Bastards

Go take a look at this over at BRM’s site

That book just moved to the top of my “need to read” list. 

When I first saw the trailer for the movie, something beyond the over the top bad accents and cartoonish nature rubbed me the wrong way.  I like a good escapism movie and there’s nothing better than “killin’ Natzis” except for maybe killing Commies… but really, a socialists is a socialist is a socialist.  Commie, Nazi, Marxists, Stalinist… The all want power and to oppress.  What’s not to love about sending them across the veil? 

But a nagging little tickle kept poking me in the back of the head.  There was something wrong with it.  WTH!  I like anti-hero movies too.  Kelly’s Heroes is one of my favs and it paints the war effort in WWII in a rather dim light.  Was it just my intense dislike for Brad Pitt????  Was it the fact I sat through Benjamin Button?  Why did I have such an adverse reaction to the idea of this movie? 

I think I’ve finally figured it out.  I’ve grown up a little.  I can watch make-believe destruction and mayhem just fine.  I can even watch factual destruction and mayhem without batting an eye.  But when the historical is turned into irreverence for the sake of destruction and mayhem… I don’t find that funny or entertaining.  The “violence porn”, as the movie is described, is bad enough.  But when you attach it to a time in history when men, real men, died for honor, for God, for country, for comrades in arms… I think “poor taste” is an apt description of the endeavor.

So I think I’ll let Quinton’s blood fueled rape of historical facts pass me by.

ATTENTION!!!! YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE!!!!

Tune into GUN NUTS RADIO tonight!  No exceptions will be allowed.  There will be a test afterward. 

There will be some poodle-shooter stuff that may hold some interest, but The Monster-Hunter-in-Chief will be on.  < Insert fanboy SQUEEEE here>

A Few Days Late

I’m just a tidge late in congratulating Larry Correia for MHI and its success.  Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa. 

However, let me be a week early in saying he’ll be on next week’s Gun Nuts Radio show.  So tune in and listen.  Breada and the man that created The Abomination…  Is there a better way to spend a Tuesday night?  Oh yeah, and there’s Caleb too.


Dante…

Conservative, educated, understands history, distrusts government, distrusts politicians, dislikes pop-culture, and carries a firearm. In short, I'm what The Framers of The Constitution were counting on and everything your government wants you to fear most.

The only thing I don’t have to complain about is some GI taking up space in my living room. I’ll let you know about the Civil Courts if someone ever owes more than $20 to me. ---If you didn’t get that one; sue your Civics or US History Teacher.


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