I Aten’t Dead*

…I just, kinda sorta, wish I was.  …a little bit. 

It’s been a long hard several days.  Work has me stressed and alerting people that, “I’m 2 seconds of your stupid away from being on the news.”

I’m due for a vacation in 69 hours, 45 minutes, and 17 seconds (one that has been canceled TWICE by work!).  A vacation that will begin with finishing up some stitching on the Halloween costumes (BSG BDU’s), proceed into episodes of Dollhouse and Sanctuary, and rounding out Friday by falling asleep to either Redliners or Greywalker (both of which I’m trapped in the middle of with no time to read!).  Saturday will be waking up with same, light chores about the casa, Margarita Brunch, Darts at the bar, then off to a party dressed in costume to see how much beer a Colonial Officer can consume before being put in the brig.  

After that, nothing but books, sleep, and fresh air has been planned. 

There may be survivors after all. 

*with apologies to Granny Weatherwax

Things Left 4 Dead Has Taught Me About The Coming Zombiepocalypse.

1)      I need to work on my “Chicken Winging”.  It’s a great target of opportunity for your own team to nail you with Friendly Fire.

2)      Before I enter a doorway that screams, “ZOMBIES! GET YOUR RED HOT ZOMBIES IN HERE!”  I need to take 2 seconds to make sure my primary and secondary weapons are topped off.  Nothing begs the Huggies to get fudged like firing 2 shots and then yelling, “RELOADING” while 30 zombies register you as the Blue Plate Special.

3)      I much prefer Romero Zombies to 28 Days Later Zombies. 

4)      I need to buy more Normal Capacity magazines for my weapons.  The target rich environs of the Undead-Americans call for frequent tactical mag changes.

5)      Setting zombies on fire 50 yards from you?  Good.  Setting zombies on fire 3 feet from you?  BAD!

6)      I promise to be the first through the door and the one to take the brunt of the damage fighting the really bad zombies if you promise to give me fire support when I’m trying to make it to the rescue vehicle.  If, however, you decided to leave me for dead, I will be very put out. 

7)      Never do a bad turn to your survival partners (see above).  You never know when a fudge ton of zombies may follow you into a safe room ignoring the guy you’ve recently burned with your shenanigans and he may just close the unbreakable door on you and your “new friends” w/o lending a helping hand.  *evil grin* File that one under, “Payback’s a B***h,” fellas!

8)      With Pipe-bombs, ammo, and automatic weapons laying all about, the Zombiepocalypse is actually a pretty nice place to be.  I mean… minus the zombies. But hey, we have our own zombies now and none of that fun stuff lying about.  So I don’t know that I mind the “change.”

9)      I need an iPod.  The Zombiepocalypse will not be the same without a soundtrack.

10)  Given that I spend so much free time playing this game, I supposed when the Zombiepocalypse comes I’ll spend all my free time pretending to code,  playing at  finishing my reports, and role-playing that I’m talking to clients on the phone?

ATTENTION!!!! YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE!!!!

Tune into GUN NUTS RADIO tonight!  No exceptions will be allowed.  There will be a test afterward. 

There will be some poodle-shooter stuff that may hold some interest, but The Monster-Hunter-in-Chief will be on.  < Insert fanboy SQUEEEE here>

A Few Days Late

I’m just a tidge late in congratulating Larry Correia for MHI and its success.  Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa. 

However, let me be a week early in saying he’ll be on next week’s Gun Nuts Radio show.  So tune in and listen.  Breada and the man that created The Abomination…  Is there a better way to spend a Tuesday night?  Oh yeah, and there’s Caleb too.

Paging Dr. Jones

Dun da dah daaah.  Dun da daaaah. Dun da d d daaaah. Dun da dah daah daaah.

Sorry.  I needed a light hearted post right now.

MHI Needs You!

Mr. Correia let us know that the first 7 chapters of Monster Hunter International are up for your perusal for FREE. 

Hit Larry’s site and follow the magick linkies for Monsters, Mayhem, Love, and The Abomination! 

Oh wait… You don’t get to see The Abomination until later in the book?  Guess you’ll just have to buy a copy to find out about it.

Conflicted.

The new Star Trek movie has me all twisted. One part of me kinda liked it. The other wants to beat the part that likes it senseless, launch it into space, and see if it can survive a few thousand meters from the event horizon of a singularity.

10-year-old-me, who still likes Dr. Who and can totally deal with a Police callbox traveling through space and time righting wrongs with an ever changing cast of Doctors and sidekicks, kinda dug the Flash Gordon-esque nature of writing that boldly goes where no science textbook has gone before. “Yeah, I got ya science hangin’ right here!” Plot holes be damned. Science be damned. Military structure/tactics/doctrine be damned. Bring on the green chicks and phasors; I want action.

Screw established history. Bring on the alternate time line. Ahead full. RAMMING SPEED! FIRE ALL PHASORS!

But then there’s the guy that grew up. The guy that knows you, “…cannot change the laws of physics!” Parking 10 feet from a black hole? Planets that can clearly, visually, see the formation of a black hole, not being pulled apart like a Thanksgiving turkey at Michael Moore’s house? A ball of red goo so powerful that you put a fudge ton of it on a lightly defended ship? A “simple mining ship” with stinky bottom load of torpedoes? Central planets of an interstellar alliance NOT keeping home fleets? Raw cadets being assigned to not only crew, but command, a flagship? Leapfrogging 5 grades and ending up Captain of a Battle Cruiser? MAKE! IT! STOP!

And thus, my conflict. One that could be solved by knowing one simple thing. Did they just not care about trying to maintain SOME level of anchor to reality and just want to make a 2D space shoot-em-up. Or did they have a real pig and just try and put lipstick on it by saying, “we’re returning to the roots,” meaning, “It’s Cinema Queso, but you’ll buy it as summer blockbuster if we spin it enough.”

If it’s the former, then I will happily classify it as Fantasy (like Star Wars) that, on the whole, succeeded as a movie, but failed as a story. If it’s the later, then it was a horrible SciFi movie and an even more contemptible SciFi Story.

Support You Local Fiction Writer

If you read SciFi/Fantasy just for the hell of it; go here, order the book, and enjoy. 

A good read all around and excellent for a first work.  A bit formulaic in a couple of spots and you can spot the ending pretty early on; but it’s written well enough that you don’t care.

Oh, and I may be over exaggerating about spotting the ending.  I’m a bit of a Module Breaker.  GM’s kinda hate me.  So YMMV. 

Plus, Larry is an honest to goodness Full Auto Merchant of Death.  So please buy his books.  With The Chosen One ™ ready to Ascend to the Cathedra in DC, he may not have that means of income soon.