Archive for the 'world at large' Category

Congrats Canucks

Forgot to post this earlier, but If any of you funny talking guys from up north (no.. not the U.P.  More north) run across this site, CONGRATULATIONS!  That was a damn fine Olympics you put on.  Thanks for showing the world you can have a sense of humor and not turn it into some kind of throwback to a “we are the master race” political showpiece. (I’m looking at you China!)

From beer swilling hocky chicks to William Shatner making cracks about sex in canoes, you guys ROCK!  I so want to party with you now.   That just about makes up for foisting Shania Twain and Celine Dion on us.  Not quite, but almost.

I’ll have a Labatt in your honor at the next pub crawl.

Bad Weekend For The Savings Account.

I just had the most expensive get-together with my fiends I’ve ever had.  Friday night I spent some time at a friend’s where we played some trivia games.  T’was a fun time had on a cold night.  As I pulled out of their apartment complex, the tire pressure warning went nutters and I pull off the road into a parking lot.  Sure enough, the right front tire was flatter than a non-teleprompter Obama rant. In the cold, with the sub par jack that comes with the Mazda 3, I change the tire. 

There was some drama with some rather suspicious folks asking me and The Mrs. if we “needed a ride.”  Hand on my concealed gun, I replied, “No thanks.”  A little more drama when the piss poor jack slipped out of the hard point and started to list about 30 degrees.  All was over come, the tire was replaced with the “doughnut”, and the offending tire was wedged into its carry hole. 

Later that night (morning) as I was winding down from the fun and warming up from the cold, I realized I didn’t take my damn phone off my belt.  The Treo’s touch screen was shattered and the only reason I didn’t lose it all together was the screen protector held the shards in place.  So scratch one smart phone which will have to be replaced to the tune of between $300 and $450 depending upon what I want to upgrade to.  Since there’s nothing I really like out there, I’m not sure what to do about it. 

The next day, I take the tire to be fixed.  As the tire-guy and I pull the tire from the back of the holding well, we both say, “Shit!”  The wheel was bent to the tune of about a centimeter.  And then it hits me.  The FIRST parking space we tried had a DEEEEEP pot hold that was concealed by shadow and water.  I guess I hit it at just the right place for it to bend the inside of the wheel.  It didn’t shake the tire loose until I got up to speed on the road after leaving. *sigh-and-migraine-salute* $340’s later an OEM wheel is ordered and should be in today.  If the tire is ok, that should be it. If not, 2 new tires will also be part of the damage. 

You know… I’m not sure if I like my friends this much.

Christmas For Dummies.

So a few years ago (about a millennia and a half give or take), some really wise old priest decided it really sucked trying to honor Jesus’ birth right around the same time as he was murdered.  Granted the rising from the dead shtick did put a happier spin on the whole, “I killed my savior,” thing, but still… Dead God does not equal happy birthday. 

So this priest looked about and saw all these Pagans randying about having a merry old time and he though, “You know, why don’t we co-opt this holiday too.  I mean we get to kill 2 birds with one stone.  We get to give the locals a reason to celebrate with us and we get rid of the whole Debbie-Downer of ‘happy birthday now please get up on the cross’ (and depending on when the vernal equinox fell you might have ‘come down off the cross, we have some nice cake for you’). 

So Pagans became Christians and life went along for hundreds of years pretty much unchanged.  You had various permutations of the same theme but nothing really earth shattering.  Then the Christian world had several disciplines coalesce into one unstoppable force.  Psychology, Economics, Banking, and Industry, just to name a few, formed a new prophet called, “Marketing,”  and that prophet cried out in the desert and announced the birth of a new religion, “Consumerism!” 

Consumerism looked at the world and said, “Look at all the people celebrating Christmas!  Why, we need to co-opt that holiday and kill two birds with one stone.  We’ll put them further in debt by convincing them they deserve all these things we sell and we’ll drive out any sad vestiges of the old religion that makes them think stupid things like saving money and personal accountability!” 

So thus Consumerism spoke to his prophet, Marketing, and said, “Bring them to me.  Inflame their hearts with want and need so that I can fill the hole with my ephemeral trinkets. …At least until our products for next season are ready.”  And Marketing did his bidding.  And people fought for toys that would be in next year’s garage sale and spent the entire Christmas season miserable and angry. 

The angels turned to Jesus and cried, “Are you going to stand for this!”  To which Jesus replied, “Come on!  They nailed me to a cross, did you think it was going to be all down hill after that,” and he went back to watching kids playing.   

The angels stared in total puzzlement until Jesus said, “Look.  They’ll be back.  They can’t live in this ponzi fantasy forever.  Things will collapse and they’ll be back.  At least until someone else builds the next false god.  You really should be used to this by now.”

So the seasons turn from one shopping excuse to another.  People try to show off what they haven’t got and kids tear from one present to the next like a glutton suffocating on any food in his reach.  The night falls and the people cry, “I’m so glad that’s over!  Thank GOD we have another year before we have to do that again!” 

But as their hind brain counts the costs and inescapable math mounts, their fears become harder and harder to ignore.  Next year may NOT come.  At least not this way.  And that part of the brain which made lighting fast the flash of claws or the thundering of a run for life itself gnaws and worries at the modern intellect.  Can another video game quell the pain?  Can bigger TV or a faster CPU keep me safe?  Can the right mix of pill make it all go away?

To any left who know that Christmas starts TODAY and not on Black Friday; Merry Christmas and God Bless. 

To all those who simply must have the season’s latest toy’s and think it’s finally over now and all you have to do is find a way to pay for it; good luck and I leave you with one thought.  When… Not if… When… When all the toys you preen with such vainglory over lose their luster….  When they stop blinking and boinging or going, what will be important about today? 

Look into the eyes of everyone you see.  Everyone!  And try to realize the only lesson you need ever know about the holidays.  Christmas, indeed any great time, isn’t about giving. It isn’t about receiving.  It’s about being.  Being who you are, where you are, with all who make you what you are.  Master that, and Citibank and Madison Ave. need never steal another precious moment again. 

… And to all, a good night.

To The Victor Goes the Spoils And Poop Rolls Down Hill.

That’s pretty much how most Presidents treat their political appointments.  They are the spoils of war and are passed downhill to willing toadies and supporters as thanks for a job well down or not publishing photos or making sure certain ballots end up in a lake while others end up delivered on time with no overt evidence of tampering. 

It’s an age old tradition dating back to kings, shaws, and emperors when making your favorite cousin Earl of Conqueredlandsingdale or giving your best mistress a “get out of the gallows free” card was expected.  And you know… I’m somewhat ok with that.  Keeping your appointments of unqualified toadies to unremarkable and unimportant posts has long been one of the attributes that has separated the good kings/leaders/elected officials from the bad.  Making a political flunky ambassador (in name only) to Waythehelloverthereistan or Outer Bumfudgeolia where they can do little damage to anything other that willing lads’/ladies’ virtues or bar tabs is, sadly, the only way to motivate some people. 

However, when you start doling out posts of high order positions to UNQUALIFIED cronies, you cross the line into BAD KING land.  When they are interior posts, you run the risk of ruining the internal workings of the country (Czars anyone?).  When they are exterior posts, such as diplomatic posts, you guarantee that the country will be looked at as weak and foolish.  And while both can be salvaged by later administrations, the chaos caused by foolish interior appointments pales in comparison to the damage done by foolish exterior ones. 

The foolish interior ministers lead to hunger, lost jobs, and economic disaster while the foolish exterior ones lead to death.  Deaths of allies.  Deaths of innocent people.  Deaths of Servicemen and Servicewomen.  …All thrown into a meat grinder when the US looks weak and indecisive.  When we come off as buffoons abroad, tyrants move their pieces on the board with much bolder ease.  When we show stupidity at every turn, no matter how well intentioned it is, we WILL put more lives at risk by encouraging evil with our weakness. 

With that prologue, we now move to this.   When your Secretary of State starts putting on her rendition of “The View” for foreign consumption, what message does that send to tyrants about the will of the United States? 

The foolish exterior ministers who give the tacit green light for despots and potentates to start acting like, well, despots and potentates never have to face the grim reality of the blood they’ve allowed to be spilled.  Not in this life anyway.  Sadly, that spit storm rolls right on downhill to the little people while the idiot policy makers sip cocktails in high rise hotels and plot their next photo op.

Best 99 Cents I’ll Ever Spend.

BWO of Lawdog comes this. 

If you did not serve, as I did not, and listen to this without holding your, “…manhoods cheap,” then you suck and I don’t want to know you.  

Passing this along is the least I can do for those who stand tall in the face of death.

Parenting Fail

Or could it be titled, “Aliens Took My Baby?” Perhaps, “Kid Proofing Your Ballon for Dummies.”

Either way, see how many bad parenting moves you can spot in this article starting with naming your child, “Falcon.” I tell you I could not stop laughing while reading this.

Tam laments the fortunes of The Onion and I have to agree.

BTW: I was leaning toward “hoax” until some of the coppers were quoted on the news as believing the family. I haven’t ruled it out, but the popo are usually pretty good at spotting that sort of thing.

I just know if I would have caused that much of a ruckus, CPS better take me before my parents got ahold of me.

ACK!!!

Prayers needed. 

I Think I May Go Utterly Flat Barking Bug Nutters Mad.

So… there’s this house.  It’s nice.  It’s what we need.  It’s what we can afford.  It’s close to a GREAT church.  The Neighborhood is nice.  The schools are nice.  It’s NOT in Houston.  Good back yard.  Covered patio. 

The cons… Could be a bit bigger.  No HOA.  (But then again, that could be a plus?)  It adds 20 minutes to every commute under the sun including to the elderly folks’ houses.  The local Po-Po has not gotten back to me about their CLEO’s stance on Title II weapons.  And I HATE change.

So please forgive my extended absence over the last few days whilst I’ve wrestled with these relevant issues. 

NON-SEQUITOR!

My laptop, Sybil, has driven me to my utter limits.  We took off and nuked her form orbit yesterday.  Complete brain bleaching.  She’s now felling much better.  I won’t make the mistake of putting Visual Studio on her again.  That’s when the madness started.  That’s when the decay set in.  Poor girl.  She just couldn’t take an application that is designed to make applications. 

I understand now why every developer I’ve ever worked with has that air of shock when I tell them their brainchild doesn’t work.  “It works on my system!”  Well yeah… on a system so ‘tarded up to allow Visual Studio to run; just not so much in the real world!

VS will end up on a Virtual Server this go around. 

NON-SEQUITOR II

Everyone is so pleased that Barry-O was lampooned on SNL.  Folks, draw back the joy.  This wasn’t SLN catching up with us; it’s the loony left PO’ed that he hasn’t produced Nirvana yet.  We still have our God and our guns and that really hacks them off.  Their Messiah hasn’t delivered so they are lashing out. 

So all you Libertarian / Conservative types out there who just went arse over tea pot with joy… you may want to dial it back a tidge.  All this shows is that he’s losing his 20% base, not that they’ve decided to join the other 60% of the country that’s fed up with him. 

They are still wild-eyed Socialists who are mad that we aren’t on a pace to be the People’s Republic of America any sooner than 2013 rather than by fall sweeps.

NON-SEQUITOR The Next

Giving Props to T-Mobile and my Treo 750.  While Sybil was gob smacked with her little brain transplant; my little out of date Treo had to perform as my sole Instant Message Platform and Email station.  It preformed admirably.  Also need to give a “hell yeah” to Palringo.  It’s kept me connected 10 hours a day for the past 2 days.  Damn… If this was 3G, I’d be dangerous. 

I’ve tried other IM programs but they seem to have connections issues.  Few don’t broadcast that you are on a mobile device.  Even fewer do Group Chats with MSN.   Palringo did it all with a smile. 

NON-SEQUITOR The Last

My apologies to Breda and the other one… what’s his name??  Anyway… my apologies to them for not plugging Gun Nuts the past few times.  I really hope I can return to something more closely resembling a regular schedule here soon.  If nothing else, to keep my own marbles. 

When I do return to something with an approach vector that nears sanity, I’ll be sure to tend to important things like the Tuesday Gun Nuts reminders.  Oh yeah… and plugging products for the free swag that we bloggers get since we have no ethics.  

HEY RUGER!  I GET SEVERAL HITS A DAY ON MY LCR POSTS!  HOW’S ABOUT SENDING ME ONE! 

Meh… Don’t ask, don’t get.

And The Congregation Said…

… “AMEN!”

Not that I can claim to measure up to all these areas.  But at least I know I need to and am working on it.  I’m not sure about me and #14 (aside from the toes part… WHICH I’M WORKING ON); I like tofu which sounds like it might be on the spouts and carrot juice list.  Not because it’s healthy or trendy; I just like it.  A few billion Asians can’t be wrong. 

Oh, and sadly I know the difference between puce and plum.  No real clue why, but my box of crayons is the bulky 128 pack. I can also tell the difference between various taupes, browns, and beiges.  I’m not really proud of it.  I’ve tried lots of beer but those particular cells seem particularly immune to its effects.

I think I need to print this and keep it as 1) a check list for any male offspring to rate their own progress and 2) as checklist for and female offspring to rate potential suitors.

Worth The Read

Start here… then go here

draw your own conclusions.


Dante…

Conservative, educated, understands history, distrusts government, distrusts politicians, dislikes pop-culture, and carries a firearm. In short, I'm what The Framers of The Constitution were counting on and everything your government wants you to fear most.

The only thing I don’t have to complain about is some GI taking up space in my living room. I’ll let you know about the Civil Courts if someone ever owes more than $20 to me. ---If you didn’t get that one; sue your Civics or US History Teacher.


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