Posts Tagged 'Blue Funk'

I Aten’t Dead*

…I just, kinda sorta, wish I was.  …a little bit. 

It’s been a long hard several days.  Work has me stressed and alerting people that, “I’m 2 seconds of your stupid away from being on the news.”

I’m due for a vacation in 69 hours, 45 minutes, and 17 seconds (one that has been canceled TWICE by work!).  A vacation that will begin with finishing up some stitching on the Halloween costumes (BSG BDU’s), proceed into episodes of Dollhouse and Sanctuary, and rounding out Friday by falling asleep to either Redliners or Greywalker (both of which I’m trapped in the middle of with no time to read!).  Saturday will be waking up with same, light chores about the casa, Margarita Brunch, Darts at the bar, then off to a party dressed in costume to see how much beer a Colonial Officer can consume before being put in the brig.  

After that, nothing but books, sleep, and fresh air has been planned. 

There may be survivors after all. 

*with apologies to Granny Weatherwax

Rainy Days And Mondays…

… always get me down.   And today is a double header. 

Also, if you know that song, drop your energy level another 5% due to realizing how old you are. 

Oh look… a Depression Hat Trick.

House Hunting Frustration

Well… I’ve hit a brick wall.  I can’t find anyplace that I like, can afford, and that has decent schools. 

The places out in Katy panned out very nicely.  But once me and Mrs. sat down and talked, we figured out we weren’t really comfy with the drive in having to deal with two elderly parents.  I think if it wasn’t for that, we’d probably be much more receptive to that move.  Prices were right and the schools are EXCELLENT.  But being that far from the folks that live in 2 separate areas of Houston and need weekly visits… *sigh*.

Places closer in in Fort Bend / Missouri City / Stafford that are priced right and that we can get to the folks more quickly from have crappy schools. 

Places in same that have good schools are just too expensive and would leave us house poor. 

Places in Houston have similar school problems.  And frankly, I define happiness as Houston in my rear view mirror. 

So what to do?  Put another 30 to 40 minutes between my parents and help and sentence my wife to a LOOOONG commute or buy a nice house with crappy schools to stay close to the folks and work?  

Now part of the issue we have is going down to one income.  With kids in the plans, the amount of monthly note we can afford is drastically smaller than with 2 incomes.  I’m doing all my calculations with my income as the sole source of cash flow.  If my wife planned to shuffle the kids off to daycare then this would not be an issue.  But then again, why have kids if you intend to shuffle them off to daycare and make them someone else’s problem? 

That’s not to disrespect any single moms (or dads) who got stuck raising kids when some dead beat SOB (or Phsyco-B) walked out on them.  But if you have a choice, it’s best to keep someone home with the bambino’s at least until they can yell, “BAD TOUCH!”

THIS JUST IN!  As I type this, Dad calls with a minor (at this point) medical complaint.  He, of course, being a man, will not let me take him some meds.  It’s not life threatening or ambulance worthy, but it is a reminder that being 30 minutes away is a lot more comforting that being an hour away.   *sigh*   Where was I…?

Oh yes, Kids… single income… Anywhooo…  That’s where we stand.  We are really looking at getting no traction on a house anytime soon.  blah.  Oh well, while we can, the Mrs. and I are going sock away as much $$$ as we can to make a “better fit” purchace in a year if we don’t find anything soon.  Another $30K in the bank would bring down the mortgage on a nicer home and put it within our one income means. 

Sorry for the rant, but I needed to get that off my chest.  I know there are many more important things to talk about.  The Fisking of the Constitution by Barry-O and his merry band of drunken sailors should be much higher on my list of things to bitch about, but I just can’t seem to give a flip.   Maybe I need some recoil therapy?

Ok… Pep Talk Time.

Tam, Breda, and Bridig have all admitted to various forms of blue funk recently.  I must admit… I am in one as well.  You can’t move two feet in any one direction without hitting something that makes you just want to scream at its stupidity, injustice, or both.

We are pinned down by enemy fire.  Some of us DEEP behind enemy lines.  They have the air superiority, the artillery on the hills, and the key strategic positions from which to launch assault after assault after assault on us daily.  They know the only way they can win is to demoralize us and cut us off from our comrades.  To make us think we are the lone outpost of sanity in the world.  To make us lose heart.  We need to have courage. 

Courage is almost a contradiction in terms. It means a strong desire to live taking the form of a readiness to die. “He that will lose his life, the same shall save it,” is not a piece of mysticism for saints and heroes. It is a piece of everyday advice for sailors or mountaineers. It might be printed in an Alpine guide or a drill book. This paradox is the whole principle of courage; even of quite earthly or quite brutal courage. A man cut off by the sea may save his life if he will risk it on the precipice.   

He can only get away from death by continually stepping within an inch of it. A soldier surrounded by enemies, if he is to cut his way out,  needs to combine a strong desire for living with a strange carelessness  about dying. He must not merely cling to life, for then he will be a coward, and will not escape. He must not merely wait for death, for then he will be a suicide, and will not escape. He must seek his life in a spirit of furious indifference to it; he must desire life like water and yet drink death like wine.  
                                                     G. K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy

I love the final parts of that quote, “…he must desire life like water and yet drink death like wine.”  I get Cat 5 Chills every time I read it.  It makes me ready to do battle on all fronts… at once… with only a sharp stick and a blood-curdling yell. 

But like Bridid reminds us, we need some time away from the front as well.  You can’t keep getting shot at all day and not get… blue.  This is the time to remember friends and family.  Nature and skylines.  Great works of art and tiny miracles of life.  But most of all; that there’s more to life than life itself. 

The manner in which we conduct our lives… the courage that we show in the face of evil is what matters.  Not what the current score on the board is.  Because truth be told, we are always losing.  Truth is always under assault.  It has been since the first lie dominated Man’s heart with a lust for power.  But as long as “we few, we happy few,” hang in and fight for what is just, we can never loose in the end.  Even if the only earthly evidence of our bravery is a few words uttered to a friend in need… Call it History, call it something transcendent, or call it God; whatever “IT” is, it sees those words and marks us as worthy.  Not because we fought and won, but because we fought at all.

So when the enemy’s lies have covered your soul with darkness, take heart.  And take “5”.  Go kiss your loved ones.  Revel in that look of tenderness from your wife.  Make the guitar rock and the harmonica wail.  Immerse your soul in the things that really matter.  Not just the things worth fighting for, but the things worth living and dieing for.

Blah.

There seems to be nothing in the happy pile today.  Maybe I just got to bed too late last night (see previous post)?  Maybe I am not dealing well with reality?  Maybe I need a range session? 

Even the thought of the gunshow this weekend is depressing me.  All the desperate poeple paying $25 for GI AR mags.  Well… maybe the mil-surps won’t be jacked up and I can find something fun? 

I need to go clean my M1.  Nah… that will just take me back to a time when American stood for freedom and get me all depressified again.

What a massive blue funk. 😦  Damn… I’m going all Emo. 

“NURSE RATCHET!  BEER, TUNES, AND MY REVOLVER!  STAT!”


Dante…

Conservative, educated, understands history, distrusts government, distrusts politicians, dislikes pop-culture, and carries a firearm. In short, I'm what The Framers of The Constitution were counting on and everything your government wants you to fear most.

The only thing I don’t have to complain about is some GI taking up space in my living room. I’ll let you know about the Civil Courts if someone ever owes more than $20 to me. ---If you didn’t get that one; sue your Civics or US History Teacher.


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