Posts Tagged 'LEAVE ME ALONE'

I’m So Feelin’ This.

My Life.

I Aten’t Dead*

…I just, kinda sorta, wish I was.  …a little bit. 

It’s been a long hard several days.  Work has me stressed and alerting people that, “I’m 2 seconds of your stupid away from being on the news.”

I’m due for a vacation in 69 hours, 45 minutes, and 17 seconds (one that has been canceled TWICE by work!).  A vacation that will begin with finishing up some stitching on the Halloween costumes (BSG BDU’s), proceed into episodes of Dollhouse and Sanctuary, and rounding out Friday by falling asleep to either Redliners or Greywalker (both of which I’m trapped in the middle of with no time to read!).  Saturday will be waking up with same, light chores about the casa, Margarita Brunch, Darts at the bar, then off to a party dressed in costume to see how much beer a Colonial Officer can consume before being put in the brig.  

After that, nothing but books, sleep, and fresh air has been planned. 

There may be survivors after all. 

*with apologies to Granny Weatherwax

Monday Writ Large


If I could just have one more thing to stress about today I might just be able to push my BP over the “HOLY SPIT!” threshold and into the “DIAL 911!” range.  Please God, just one more thing could go wrong today.  Just one?  I mean, really! 

I’ve been good!  Why the hell have you sicked Karma’s Ass Biter Brigade on me today?  Am I paying in advance for something covered with copious amounts of Awesome Sauce?  Should I buy a Lotto Ticket?  Should I put in the paperwork for that Sound Suppressor to the Houston CLEO???? I mean with the feces river undertow I’m trying to swim against today; you’d think I could have saved up enough credit to become the man-god of a small 3rd World country!

Seriously, STOP IT!  I’m not as strong as you evidently think I am.  REALLY! STOP!  My wack-a-doodle switch has a 5 pound pull on it and you’ve just hit 4 and 7/8th.  Enough.  Don’t you have mean people in DC and LA to jack with?  Why can’t you make Barry have a toothache or maybe serve him warm gazpacho soup?   I’m sure some porn king pin in LALA land has some unfortunate test results to get back from the doctor?  Someone else.  PLEASE!


I Am Not Tech Support! I Am A Human Being!

People, if you have a friend or relative who is a Proctologist, do you drop trou in mid conversation and ask them to look at your bunghole? 


Then why the hell would you call me at close to 10 PM when your DAMN computer starts showing signs of going Tango Uniform? And to put icing on the fracking cake; why do you then DIS-A-SODDING-GREE WITH ME WHEN I TELL YOU WHAT IS DAMN FRACKING WRONG.


THEN!!! THEN!!!! THEN!!!! You try and act like you know what needs to be done, repeat every damn thing I say, then act like any fixes were your idea. 


You know what??? Fix your own damn magic elf box next time!  


Going to bed! 


Conservative, educated, understands history, distrusts government, distrusts politicians, dislikes pop-culture, and carries a firearm. In short, I'm what The Framers of The Constitution were counting on and everything your government wants you to fear most.

The only thing I don’t have to complain about is some GI taking up space in my living room. I’ll let you know about the Civil Courts if someone ever owes more than $20 to me. ---If you didn’t get that one; sue your Civics or US History Teacher.

Your shortcut to Acute Dyspepsia
Any Spelling, Grammatical, or Typographic errors are the result of my keyboard, public school Elementary education, or Secret Government Ninjas and not fault of the author and his flying through his posts at lunch time. If you see any errors, ping me and I will correct them. Ping me often enough, and I will make you my editor.
dantes firing range -A T-
Remove the spaces and convert the -AT- to... you know the drill. In VB Script that's: Value = replace (replace ("dantes firing range -A T-", " ",""), "-AT-", chr(64))

For The Record